Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Title IX

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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