Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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derp

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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