- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

What's red and has wheels? A red car

People, so yeah Nero7 is alive, but for the first time in history this site is crashing because too many are posting questions here, so I will try answering some for you, the name is Joker2 and I am one of the administrators at point zero. Nero7 is alive and, according to himself well, but physically he can barely walk and stutters in pain, and yes we are six million followers in total. Otherwise his condition is stable, and no, he is not dying in six years (because) that is also part of the coding you will need to access our site (it might have sounded a bit too dramatic in order for some of you to understand its part of the code) Do not post questions or comments regarding our activity on any other section, we do not want that kind of attention, so stop it or we will have to cut you off, Nero can and will answer questions, but please one at the time, its clogging this crappy server, besides Nero can only answer one person at the time as far as I am aware off.

What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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