A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

thumb_up thumb_down -53

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +46

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops