Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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