What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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What's two plus two? Window

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Wright flyer

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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I wrote a funny joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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