An irish man walks out of a bar

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

whos district champs not JM

Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

Cancer.

Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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