Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops