Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops