What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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96

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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