How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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