What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

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YO FACE

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops