Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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