What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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This isn't funny.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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