I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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