What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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