Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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sharks

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Womens basketball

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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