Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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think twice or at least think

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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