- Anti Joke

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

What black and has children A black man

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

The Big Bang Theory (the show).

What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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