My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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what happens every day? People die

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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