One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops