how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a ab

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess who is violent. Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -8

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops