The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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batman has diarrhea

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Bad grammers.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Walnut

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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eat a hot dog

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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