Yanter, Look it up

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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