Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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pauls tuck

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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