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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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What's big and long? My dick.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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