If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Knock, Knock ...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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poopoo

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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