Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops