Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

8

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -9

69

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops