What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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