What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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