Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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