Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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