What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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its all aodhan

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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