How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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