- Anti Joke

What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

What did death say to life? Go die

what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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