Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

How old are you? 7

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

This joke is funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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