Cancer.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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