Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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6

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops