What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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A seal walks into a club.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Stop Spam Read Books

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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