why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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Tommy got neutered.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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