Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Obama being reelected.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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thomas!!!!

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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