why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dude man, I'm high...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

thumb_up thumb_down +21

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops