You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -8

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops