What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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A seal walks into a club.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Stop Spam Read Books

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops