How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops