If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

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There was a white kid named Tyrone.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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