Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

Women's Rights..

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

Microwave

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

Sex

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

Why is the ground wet It rained

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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