Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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guest what i love pancakes

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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