What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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