Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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How come grilled cheese?

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops