An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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