A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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I'm gay.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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