Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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