why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Black people having a Job.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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