Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's 9+10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down -30

WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops