What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats funnier than 24? your grammar, its more funny thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I went to work today....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops