What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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gay porn...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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