What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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So a seal walks into a club.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 took sexual advantage of 9.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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